Regret

Once I stepped on the ground,
I floated.
I could not find a shelter.
No place needs me.
No one needs me.
I am all alone.

Once I looked upon the flashing images in my mind,
I was upset.
No one understands me,
despite all these years.

I am handicapped and a disabled,
although it looks normal outside.
My hearts hurt,
My eyes sore,
My body aches,
I am tired.

So tired.
Pleasing everyone around,
Acting like a clown,
Smiling like an idiot,
I am a fool.

I turn around,
but all my footprints are gone.
I look back,
but there is no one.

I chose,
I choose.

Loneliness

I stood alone at the crossroads,
shivering and chilling.
With a sweater on,
it was still cold inside.

I searched for signboards,
to show me the way.
Nothing was there.

Only one pair of footprints was on the ground,
deep and deep.
I was alone.

Doing things all by myself.
Taking critics and laughings and jokes all by myself.
I kept saying: I'm fine. No worry.
And the words were killing me,
slowly and softly.

Though the sun burns and melts me,
I am still cold inside.
Through laughters and a silly sense of humour,
I always a participant of masquerade parties.
With mask and make-up on,
no one knows me.

Can imagination become real?
Can dreams come true?

Maybe...
Just maybe...

Just walking

I want to run, like an athlete, to shine myself in the Olympics.

But, I cannot run.

Even a 50-metre distance is killing me.

So, I just walk, walk and walk.

I never run. Just walk. Alone.

 

The real thing

I've been in dreams for decades,
my soul never wants to wake up.

I've been listened to the crowds,
my heart bitterly follows.

I've been ignored by the people,
my mind knows it well.

Now, in the dark, I walk and breathe.
Only shadows understand every posture,
moon listens to the hopeless sighs,
stars see through the loneliness of an empty body.

Mask is on my face, always.
The real thing, never been found out.